Pain in the butt....

Literally I have one. It came on after my long run on Saturday...only 9 miles, go figure. I wasn't worried about it at first because random "pains" have become a normal part of this training process. I was starting to get antsy on Tuesday when it still was bothering me, but the 3 miles that day went fine. Yesterday I had to go out for a 5 mile run and I was nervous. It is more then a "I'm sore" pain. It is a "I am hurt, maybe I should lay down" pain. Everything in me the first mile was telling myself to stop and go back home and the more I thought about it the more upset I began to feel. Would I even be able to run the Marathon at all? Did I really do all this training just to hurt my butt muscle 2 weeks before? If I can't even run 1 mile then how can I expect to run 26.2 miles in 10 days? My confidence was seriously undercut.
I did manage to pull it together. I thought to myself, if this was my race day what would I do?? Quit? I slowed down. I focused. I prayed. I thought through my next few training runs, how can I set them to give myself an extra day or two to rest? The training book has been reviewing a lot lately about how much the race is mental. Maybe this little butt pain is a good thing to happen to me right now. A good reminder that I am going to need to lean not just in my fitness and my body, but my mind and will need to be on board too. I was able to get into my flow and the pain went away. I did my 5 miles and finished with a better attitude.
I am still sore today but will continue to nurse my "owie". I will hopefully be feeling strong again in a day or two, but you know, even if I am not, does it really matter? I will be running this race.

Week 14, Check!

I have the pleasure of having a running buddy these last few Saturdays. My friend Bethany has been driving over from Corvallis and running part or all of the long runs with me. She will be doing the 1/2 on my marathon day and so we get to run the first 11 miles together. I really really enjoy my time alone which is good since I have 15 miles of my marathon to be alone...but I really really love my time running with my good friend.
I keep looking at the calendar to be sure, but I really only have one weekend left. I'm trying to not think too hard about it...just beginning to think of all my irrational fears now and stuff them into the far back corner of my brain.
On a more random note, my training book says to think about finishing and imagine what it will be like, how you'll feel, etc. I have come up with a few ideas of my finish line:
a) Run to within a reasonable distance of the finish, take of my running shoe (with timing chip) and throw it across the finish.
b) Run to within a reasonable distance of the finish, and stop. Stare at finish line, make the crowd nervous.
c) Run across the finish line and lay down.
Okay, I have a weird brain. Really when I let myself really imagine it, I begin to choke up a little. It's been a really long road. It has been a challenge for me physically and mentally. I'm really proud of myself. I'm humbled that I've made it this far. Then I think of my husband and all he's done for me during this training. He would have run this with me if I hadn't stubbornly decided to do this on my own. He has been such an encourager. Running some of the short runs with me...Leaving me notes on the car, my water bottle and on the road on my run route...Driving the car next to me for miles to chat with me and pick me up so I don't have to walk the driveway...Never batting an eye at all the "stuff" I need to buy, ,shoes, clothes, etc... Always asking me when I need to run and then how my run went. I have an amazing man on my team. Finishing is a victory for me. For my husband, for my family.
Miles today: 9
Miles this week: 22
Miles this Year: 357

Coming to a close

If you have ever spent any amount of time doing something it's funny how your mind begins to associate things with it. Just the smell of cardamom or bath and body works peony sanitizer will take me straight back to the 2 months I spent in India 10 years ago.
The same is becoming true for my running. I can't drive anywhere where my brooks have run without thinking of the days I pounded the pavement. Lemon lime Gatorade will do the same. Songs on the radio prompt me back to runs when I thought about them during my hours on the road.
I'm glad I won't soon forget this experience.

Miles today: 5

Week 13: Marathon Mama, 26.2 miles of peace and quiet

I saw the shirt with this postings quote on it and laughed. Someone recently asked me what I was running from and I jokingly said my kids. Some days it is more true then others.
I did my very last really long run of this training yesterday. I have 2 more weeks of shorter runs and then it's here...M day. I'm really glad that I have a lot going on right now with all the birthdays and our normal life. And since race day is on the 2nd of May, I can't even see it on the calendar yet. I'm beginning to dream about it. In the most recent I decided to start running at 9 instead of 7 and then realized that was a bad idea too late. My guts are just stirring!

Miles today: 18
Miles this week: 31
Miles this Year: 335

Week 12, Check! Dear Diary...

I have been reflecting over the past year since Charlotte's birthday is just 3 weeks away. It has sped by. I can't believe that just less then 10 months ago I was standing at the finish line of my MiL's marathon holding my 6 week old baby. Just 10 months ago I never thought any of this possible for me.

9 months ago I started walking my driveway and daring to look down the paved road and think about running.

8 months ago that I dared to create this blog and call it what I did. Believe me I felt like a big dork calling myself marathon runner. I threw the mom in at the end so it would at least be partly true. There were many other viable blog name candidates, like:
Think I might start running regularly and possibly want to run a race...we'll see.

Just over 5 months ago that I ran my very first 1/2 marathon and realized that a full was in my future. That I am not going crazy, it is possible for ME.

3 months ago I started this training. I have really enjoyed it. Grown from it. It has blessed my marriage. It has been good for the big girls. I think Charlotte has benefited from it too. I'm glad to take her to Grandma and have her delighted to go play with them instead of being totally mom-ified.

1 month ago I ran the furthest since my 1/2 marathon. A huge mental challenge. March was a high mileage month, 127 miles...insane. But I got through it.

12 hours ago I ran 18 miles. 18 MILES! I am realizing that I am getting more ready. My heart still feels weak about it. I look at the calendar and my adrenaline starts going. I am going to do this thing. And when I'm done, how much braver will I be? How much more ready for a challenge? What can I not do?

Miles today: 18
Miles this week: 31
Miles this Year: 304

Week 11, Check!

I finished my last 16 mile run. I remember mapping out my training on the calendar months ago and looking at March thinking "Holy Crap! That is a lot of miles! A lot of long runs! How am I going to be able to do it?"
Here I am on the other side! I can't believe it! March is essentially over. April looks much better. I have 2 18 mile runs and then I get to taper. It's amazing...
Todays run was really good. I really focused and achieved my "flow" at around 6 miles. My training book speaks against using tricks to make yourself forget that you are running, but instead focus on the running itself, your body working, whats around you etc. and enjoy the experience. Once I was back out in the country (at around the 10 mile mark), I let my mind clear of other things I had been processing and instead tried to focus on my running. It was a beautiful clear day. The sheep were grazing in the fields. Dogs barking. Water gurgling in the streams. Birds singing. Wow the birds were really active today...oh wait. That was the squeak of my spandex rubbing together. No joke, it took me at least 1/4 of a mile to figure out it was just me! I love that I can laugh at myself. I'm hilarious!
I'm almost there. I can't wait to be done!
Miles today: 16
Miles this week: 34
Miles this Year: 273

A gentle mercy

I've been reading this book "A severe mercy" and it's really given me a lot to think about when I am running. It's given me a new appreciation for seeing God in an ordinary day...not needing crisis to bring me to see God as supreme in my life and my need for Him. Running has made me be thankful for small things. Well I guess they are big things that I just take for granted. Like a body that works. Time to give to running. A family that is glad for me. My ordinary days of training, being a mom and a wife.
Miles today: 8