marathonrunnermom

The (long) road to recovery and training jealousy

2010-08-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

Since my last post, I've been doing week after week of physical therapy trying to get over this hip muscle strain. By nature I am a very impatient person and this is definitely testing me. It just feels like I am making no progress. The ache and sometimes pain is my constant companion. On the positive side, I have begun to run again. I did 4 miles on Tuesday with my MIL, her running buddy Charlee and Annie, Charlee's 13 year old daughter. I am bummed slightly that I am practically starting over as far as fitness goes. This run required me to make small distance goals the last mile to keep me going. I know I can make it to that mailbox.....I know I can make it to that street sign....I know I can make it to that driveway....
My husband is 7 weeks into his training for the Portland Marathon, his first. I'm glad to have done it first so I can be understanding of his time and all the things needed to successfully train. Part of me is terribly jealous, wishing I was the one out for a 11 mile run. Wishing I felt good enough to do that. Wishing for the time in my head to think and be quiet. It is good for me to practice not butting in to brag about my marathon and let him have the spot light now.

What now?

2010-05-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

It has been nearly 2 weeks since my big day. The stiffness is gone. The sore legs are gone. The euphoria is still present, but not as intense. Watching the video Jonah made (he's nearly done, I'll post it when he finishes) makes me choke up a little still. I'm still really proud.
I've been thinking about this week for months now. The weeks after...when I didn't HAVE to run. I've been saying: "Heck no...I will NOT be running for the rest of May".
But I have to say that I really miss it. I'm starting to think about running again when I drive the roads that I usually run on.
I still have this nagging pain in my hip that I wish would just go away because I'm not running. Apparently I'm going to have to actually do some work to cure it, like ice and stretch. Ugh.
Here is the million dollar question: What now? How do you "top" the experience of a marathon?
Since I am new to the world of running, I had no idea that there was such things as 50k or 100k or other Ultra-Marathons like 100mile marathons (I feel a little dumb that I thought a marathon was the longest race). I entertained the idea of an Ultra-Marathon for about 5 minutes before dismissing it as pure insanity and of no interest to me at this time. I say "at this time" because I know better than to say "never".
I am looking at completing a marathon in a more realistic way. If you look at it like a "high" then you will always be looking for a new higher high. I really don't need that extreme in my life. I'm filing it in my "once in a lifetime" experiences next to being at the Taj Mahal. I have the hope of doing it again (Now Bethany, that doesn't mean anytime soon) but if it never works out, I have this moment in my life that changed me. Challenged me.

My Marathon: the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

2010-05-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

I went to bed last night wondering if the experience of running the marathon would have left me but thankfully I have extremely sore legs to remind me of the journey I went on yesterday.

So here is the whole story and I won't spare you any gory details!

We headed to Eugene on Saturday afternoon. The packet pickup was at the Eugene Hilton Conference Center. They were having a health expo and it was nuts inside. I went upstairs first to get my bib and timing chip. You had to go into the expo to get your shirt and somehow I went in from the wrong direction. It was a sea of people all in line to get their shirts and I was swimming upstream. I left Jonah behind and attempted to find the beginning of the line which happened to be all the way at the other end of the expo (where I should have gone in in the first place). On the plus side I did get to see all the booths twice. I now wish I would have picked up a sassy shirt like:
"Does this shirt make my butt look fast?"
or
"I love running
I hate running
I love running
I hate running"

Once that was all straightened out and I had my shirt in hand, we headed out of there and went in search of the start/finish line. We knew the streets around there would be closed so we wanted to make a plan for the morning of how Jonah would be able to drop Bethany (my running buddy who was running the 1/2) and me as close to the start as possible. Seeing the stadium made me feel excited really for the first time. I think I have had so much anxiety lately, not about finishing since I knew I would do whatever it took to finish. Maybe the anxiety was about all the possibilities of what it would take. I knew it was going to be hard, but how hard?
After dinner and shopping (time killing), it was time to face the inevitable night before race. The other marathon of trying to make yourself sleep! This was complicated by my genetics (Thanks again Dad) of having a stomach that is very upset-able by stress. By 9:45 I knew the cramps I was having was more then butterflies in my stomach. For being a major planner, I did over look this possible scenario. So there we were, driving around Springfield trying to find a grocery store so I could get tums/pepto...something. We walked into a Walgreens just as they were announcing the store was closing but were able to get a variety of stomach soothing medicines. I'm not really sure why I bothered. I know myself. Once I am on the D-train (I told you I wasn't going to spare you the details), I am not getting off until it's all out. I lay awake until 11:30 hoping/praying the cramps would go and the ability to go would come. Finally sleep arrived but it was short lived. At 1:30am I was up and in the bathroom for the next 2 hours. Truthfully I was really thankful that I wasn't vomiting. I kept telling myself "The more you go now, the less likely you'll need to during the race". I made it back to bed in time to get 2 more hours of sleep, 4 hours total.
5:45 came as early as always and I peeled out of bed and into my running clothes. The cramps were gone thankfully, but my stomach was still unsettled (could have had something to do with knowing I was going to run a marathon in just over an hour). The drive to the starting line was smooth and quick. I kissed Jonah goodbye and Bethany and I were off to find the starting line. There was already a ton of people there and more arriving every minute. After stretching, we found our way into the start gate and stood by the 10:30 mile flag. I knew Bethany's pace for the 1/2 could be much faster but I needed to be a more slower steady pace for the 26 miles I was going to run. She was happy to run my pace (Thanks dear friend) so that I would have someone for the 11 miles our course was together. It was getting to be really close to the time to start when the funniest thing happened. Ahead of us, behind us we would see clothes flying through the air. It reminded me of caps being thrown at graduation. Sweats, Shirts being tossed in the air. We were packed in so tight in the start gate that those wearing extra clothes to stay warm could not/would not be able to move to the side to discard them.
Then suddenly we were off! It was several miles of cramped race conditions with all the runners jockeying around each other. The fun thing about running in Eugene in such a large marathon was the spectators. There were people everywhere cheering for us, ringing bells, playing music. It made it really fun and helped the miles just fly by. There was just so much to see. Here is a few of the funny signs I remember:
I trained 6 months to hold this sign
Run faster. Angry bees are chasing you!
On the scale of 1 to 10, my wife is a 26.2
You are nowhere near the finish!
Before I knew it and really with no warning, it was time for 1/2 marathon runners to turn off and so Bethany was on her way with just 2 miles left of her race. She finished strong with an amazing first 1/2 time of 2:12.
The marathon route took me into Sprinfield and by this time the race had evened out. I was no longer being passed by runners and the runners were beginning to be more spread out. Since I am my father's daughter, I chatted with the police officers that were directing traffic, bystanders waiting for buses and other runners when I could find one that wasn't "too focused". People take themselves really seriously.
It seemed like Jonah was on every corner. He worked hard to stay ahead of me. He was my "pit crew" carrying extra water bottles for my running belt and energy chews. More then that, he was my cheer squad, encouraging me.
I was still feeling pretty good by mile 19 and really excited that now I was in my uncharted territory... the furthest I'd ever run and feeling cheerful about only having 7 miles left. My parents called to say that they were waiting at mile 22 with the girls to cheer for me. I think it really helped to know they were just ahead. It kept my mind thinking about getting there and being strong. I met my dad first, he had walked down the path with Charlotte toward me. He jogged with me back toward the girls. Charlotte started crying when she saw me and was reaching for me the whole time. The girls were with my mom in the wagon holding the signs they made. Adrianne's said "GO Mom"
Stella's was a bunch of scribbles.
They both were shouting "GO MAMA GO!!!"
We high fived as I made my way by. It was really fun to see them, but it was also hard to see them. I have been imagining for months now what it would be like to have my family there to see me. To cheer for me. To be proud of me. It really made me lose control of my emotions and for the next 1/2 mile I struggled not to cry. I was already so physically tired and emotionally fatigued.
By the 23 mile mark I was beginning to feel physically exhausted. Thankfully my hip that had been really a concern going into this race didn't ever hurt me. I think anytime you run a lot of miles you are going to experience this kind of fatigue. My quads were tired. My lower back was really tired. My left foot begin to feel crampy. I kept telling my self: 3 more miles. 30 more minutes. You can do this. I spent most of mile 23 with a woman who was also very fatigued. We swapped stories and I left her at the water station at mile 24. It is said that the last 6 miles of a marathon is the last 1/2 of the race and I really have an appreciation for what that means. Those last 2 miles especially were intense. I passed 20+ people who were now walking, limping, some crying. I had resolved to not quit and I used some of my mental training techniques at that point to keep myself going. When I finally turned the last corner and could see the stadium ahead with the mile 26 flag, it all melted away. The fatigue, the aches. My emotional fatigue was the only thing left to battle. I really struggled not to cry. At first I thought I'd just let myself, but then I began to feel like I might hyperventilate so I had to get it together. The crowd those last 3 blocks to the stadium was packed and with my name printed on my bib, it seemed like there were hundreds of people shouting my name and encouraging me to finish strong. Turning into the stadium and onto the track is something that I will never forget. 1700+ people finished before me, but I felt like I was in first place. I happened to enter the stadium with only 2 other people so it felt like I was having my own moment. My family, my parents, Jonah's parents and a few other friends were in the grandstands and I could hear them among the crowd of other people cheering and ringing cow bells. They said my name over the loud speaker and I stepped across the finish line. I was so relieved to stop running and so glad to finish and join my family.
Overall this was an amazing, very positive experience. It was hard, but not unbearable. I can push through. I have it in me. I would do it again...just not anytime soon! I am very proud of myself and satisfied with my marathon. Now it's your turn, right?

Finish Video

2010-05-03T15:00:00.001-07:00

I am about halfway through this 5 minute finishers clip. White hat, red tank. If you listen close the announcer says my name and then says "Becky is all smiles as she crosses the finish line".

Jonah will have "Marathon: the movie" done in the very near future so you can get the full experience. I'll work on posting my thoughts soon.

I AM A MARATHON FINISHER

2010-05-02T18:44:00.001-07:00

The sun will come out....Tomorrow!

2010-05-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow when I wake up, I'll slide into my running clothes. I settled on shorts, a red running bra/tank, my blue long sleeved shirt and my trusty brooks. My number will already be pinned on my shorts (the best place for it to be since it has to be visible at all times during the race and I want to be able to take my long shirt off).
Then my normal run day breakfast: Oatmeal, brown sugar, almonds, milk & Tea.
Then hop in the car with Jonah & my running buddy Bethany and drive from Springfield to Hayward field. Hopefully Jonah will be able to get us pretty close to the start line. We'll have to figure out which start gate we are supposed to be in. Then the wait. And then it will begin.
I'm nervous. I'm big enough to admit it. I waffle between feeling ready and feeling really unready. Today will be another day to practice relaxation techniques!
In just 3 hours the journey will begin. We'll be dropping off the girls and heading to the Health Fair to pick up my bib. I can't believe it's here. I can't wait for it to begin. I can't wait for it to be over!
My next post will be sometime after my race on Sunday. Wish me luck.

Last Training Run

2010-04-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

Today was my very last training run. Wow.
During my run today I thought back to the very first time I ran 3 miles. It was the day Joan came back from Alaska last July. Her running buddy Charlie came by and they invited me to join them. I had only been running for maybe 3 weeks at that point and the farthest I had run was 1 1/2 miles. My stubborn will made me keep up with them even though I couldn't even speak. They jogged and chatted and I panted and tried to keep pace. I was really proud of myself when we were finished even though I felt faint and could barely walk up the stairs to put the girls to bed.
I have come a really long way. Literally. More then 550 miles. It feels really good to be on this side of the training. Just Sunday. SUNDAY.
I got the sweetest present today. Adrianne has been telling her class for awhile now about my race. Today when she got home from school she had a manila envelope full of cards the kids in her class made for me. They say things like: we are proud of you. Good Luck. And each has a picture of me running. I'll have to post some of the pictures, they are great. I could cry right now just thinking about it. Even more reasons to finish.

Miles Today: 3
Miles this Year: 370

Pass me some red vines

2010-04-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

I am a nervous eater. It is a good thing I don't like fast food and that there are not any drive thru candy stores around here. Sunday. SUNDAY. Sunday. How can it be just days away?
The last chapter of my training book talks a lot about how you will feel like you peaked too soon and worry about being ready. When I read that months ago I was skeptical. I thought I would feel more confident, empowered. And now here I am reading it again, nodding my head, I am NERVOUS. I don't FEEL ready. I am taking this training book at its word that I am. I am trusting that doing the training and all this preparation has made me ready even though my heart is very weak.
On the advice of a friend I stopped in and tried to see a Physical Therapist on Tuesday for the pain in my hip/butt. I learned that you need a prescription for PT but the therapist had pity on me and did a free consultation. I was relieved to hear that my leg will NOT fall off during the marathon but I do have a muscle strain deep in my hip. He gave me some stretches and some encouragement. So even though my pain is not gone, I do feel better.
Sunday. SUNDAY. (deep breathing).

Pain in the butt....

2010-04-22T09:26:00.001-07:00

Literally I have one. It came on after my long run on Saturday...only 9 miles, go figure. I wasn't worried about it at first because random "pains" have become a normal part of this training process. I was starting to get antsy on Tuesday when it still was bothering me, but the 3 miles that day went fine. Yesterday I had to go out for a 5 mile run and I was nervous. It is more then a "I'm sore" pain. It is a "I am hurt, maybe I should lay down" pain. Everything in me the first mile was telling myself to stop and go back home and the more I thought about it the more upset I began to feel. Would I even be able to run the Marathon at all? Did I really do all this training just to hurt my butt muscle 2 weeks before? If I can't even run 1 mile then how can I expect to run 26.2 miles in 10 days? My confidence was seriously undercut.
I did manage to pull it together. I thought to myself, if this was my race day what would I do?? Quit? I slowed down. I focused. I prayed. I thought through my next few training runs, how can I set them to give myself an extra day or two to rest? The training book has been reviewing a lot lately about how much the race is mental. Maybe this little butt pain is a good thing to happen to me right now. A good reminder that I am going to need to lean not just in my fitness and my body, but my mind and will need to be on board too. I was able to get into my flow and the pain went away. I did my 5 miles and finished with a better attitude.
I am still sore today but will continue to nurse my "owie". I will hopefully be feeling strong again in a day or two, but you know, even if I am not, does it really matter? I will be running this race.

Week 14, Check!

2010-04-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

I have the pleasure of having a running buddy these last few Saturdays. My friend Bethany has been driving over from Corvallis and running part or all of the long runs with me. She will be doing the 1/2 on my marathon day and so we get to run the first 11 miles together. I really really enjoy my time alone which is good since I have 15 miles of my marathon to be alone...but I really really love my time running with my good friend.
I keep looking at the calendar to be sure, but I really only have one weekend left. I'm trying to not think too hard about it...just beginning to think of all my irrational fears now and stuff them into the far back corner of my brain.
On a more random note, my training book says to think about finishing and imagine what it will be like, how you'll feel, etc. I have come up with a few ideas of my finish line:
a) Run to within a reasonable distance of the finish, take of my running shoe (with timing chip) and throw it across the finish.
b) Run to within a reasonable distance of the finish, and stop. Stare at finish line, make the crowd nervous.
c) Run across the finish line and lay down.
Okay, I have a weird brain. Really when I let myself really imagine it, I begin to choke up a little. It's been a really long road. It has been a challenge for me physically and mentally. I'm really proud of myself. I'm humbled that I've made it this far. Then I think of my husband and all he's done for me during this training. He would have run this with me if I hadn't stubbornly decided to do this on my own. He has been such an encourager. Running some of the short runs with me...Leaving me notes on the car, my water bottle and on the road on my run route...Driving the car next to me for miles to chat with me and pick me up so I don't have to walk the driveway...Never batting an eye at all the "stuff" I need to buy, ,shoes, clothes, etc... Always asking me when I need to run and then how my run went. I have an amazing man on my team. Finishing is a victory for me. For my husband, for my family.
Miles today: 9
Miles this week: 22
Miles this Year: 357

Coming to a close

2010-04-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

If you have ever spent any amount of time doing something it's funny how your mind begins to associate things with it. Just the smell of cardamom or bath and body works peony sanitizer will take me straight back to the 2 months I spent in India 10 years ago.
The same is becoming true for my running. I can't drive anywhere where my brooks have run without thinking of the days I pounded the pavement. Lemon lime Gatorade will do the same. Songs on the radio prompt me back to runs when I thought about them during my hours on the road.
I'm glad I won't soon forget this experience.

Miles today: 5

Week 13: Marathon Mama, 26.2 miles of peace and quiet

2010-04-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

I saw the shirt with this postings quote on it and laughed. Someone recently asked me what I was running from and I jokingly said my kids. Some days it is more true then others.
I did my very last really long run of this training yesterday. I have 2 more weeks of shorter runs and then it's here...M day. I'm really glad that I have a lot going on right now with all the birthdays and our normal life. And since race day is on the 2nd of May, I can't even see it on the calendar yet. I'm beginning to dream about it. In the most recent I decided to start running at 9 instead of 7 and then realized that was a bad idea too late. My guts are just stirring!

Miles today: 18
Miles this week: 31
Miles this Year: 335

Week 12, Check! Dear Diary...

2010-04-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have been reflecting over the past year since Charlotte's birthday is just 3 weeks away. It has sped by. I can't believe that just less then 10 months ago I was standing at the finish line of my MiL's marathon holding my 6 week old baby. Just 10 months ago I never thought any of this possible for me.

9 months ago I started walking my driveway and daring to look down the paved road and think about running.

8 months ago that I dared to create this blog and call it what I did. Believe me I felt like a big dork calling myself marathon runner. I threw the mom in at the end so it would at least be partly true. There were many other viable blog name candidates, like:
Think I might start running regularly and possibly want to run a race...we'll see.

Just over 5 months ago that I ran my very first 1/2 marathon and realized that a full was in my future. That I am not going crazy, it is possible for ME.

3 months ago I started this training. I have really enjoyed it. Grown from it. It has blessed my marriage. It has been good for the big girls. I think Charlotte has benefited from it too. I'm glad to take her to Grandma and have her delighted to go play with them instead of being totally mom-ified.

1 month ago I ran the furthest since my 1/2 marathon. A huge mental challenge. March was a high mileage month, 127 miles...insane. But I got through it.

12 hours ago I ran 18 miles. 18 MILES! I am realizing that I am getting more ready. My heart still feels weak about it. I look at the calendar and my adrenaline starts going. I am going to do this thing. And when I'm done, how much braver will I be? How much more ready for a challenge? What can I not do?

Miles today: 18
Miles this week: 31
Miles this Year: 304

Week 11, Check!

2010-03-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

I finished my last 16 mile run. I remember mapping out my training on the calendar months ago and looking at March thinking "Holy Crap! That is a lot of miles! A lot of long runs! How am I going to be able to do it?"
Here I am on the other side! I can't believe it! March is essentially over. April looks much better. I have 2 18 mile runs and then I get to taper. It's amazing...
Todays run was really good. I really focused and achieved my "flow" at around 6 miles. My training book speaks against using tricks to make yourself forget that you are running, but instead focus on the running itself, your body working, whats around you etc. and enjoy the experience. Once I was back out in the country (at around the 10 mile mark), I let my mind clear of other things I had been processing and instead tried to focus on my running. It was a beautiful clear day. The sheep were grazing in the fields. Dogs barking. Water gurgling in the streams. Birds singing. Wow the birds were really active today...oh wait. That was the squeak of my spandex rubbing together. No joke, it took me at least 1/4 of a mile to figure out it was just me! I love that I can laugh at myself. I'm hilarious!
I'm almost there. I can't wait to be done!
Miles today: 16
Miles this week: 34
Miles this Year: 273

A gentle mercy

2010-03-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

I've been reading this book "A severe mercy" and it's really given me a lot to think about when I am running. It's given me a new appreciation for seeing God in an ordinary day...not needing crisis to bring me to see God as supreme in my life and my need for Him. Running has made me be thankful for small things. Well I guess they are big things that I just take for granted. Like a body that works. Time to give to running. A family that is glad for me. My ordinary days of training, being a mom and a wife.
Miles today: 8

Week 10, Check!

2010-03-20T20:02:00.000-07:00

All week I look forward to the long run. This week has been a challenge. We are recovering from ear infections, fevers, pink eye, restless sleeping at night and PMS (ha!). The shorter runs are now 5,8,5 miles and that is a long way for a short run! My knee (the surgery one) was really sore after last weeks 16 miles so I have been a little nervous all week that it is aggravated. It doesn't seem to hurt when I run so I think it is just sore from the mileage. Someone told me that it will stop hurting when I stop running so far! Okay, 6 more weeks until then!
The first 8 miles were really easy. They seemed to go really fast and I had that Bob Marley song that goes "Every little thing is gonna be all right" stuck in my head. Jonah met me at the market by the bridge to switch empty water bottles on my running belt and give me an apple. It seemed to be a pretty easy run until I hit the 10 mile mark. I really have to concentrate on something. So it's nice when I have things to roll around up there, problems to sort out, people to pray for etc. For some reason I just couldn't get my mind to stay on one thing. It kept drifting to how my body was feeling which at that point was tired and a little sore. I struggled for a few miles until I did what I do best...distract myself with planning. I thought all about my marathon day and what I would need to do to prepare my kids for being overnight at the grandparents and be ready to wait at the finish line. I thought about what time they would need to leave to be down, what they will wear, eat, play with. Ahh... I love making mental lists...almost as much as I love making actual lists. That helped and I made it home! 3 more long runs...

Miles today: 16
Miles this week: 34
Miles this Year: 239

Week 9, Check! Random Thoughts

2010-03-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

Today I ran 16 miles... further than I have ever run before. It was so nice to wake up to blue skies, even though I prefer to run in the rain. It's been a long week full of ear infections, fevers, night time disturbances and missing naps. I was a teeny tiny bit worried for my run today since I am beginning to cough up "clams" (as Jonah calls them). My mom came to watch the girls and Joan was my ride to my start. I wanted to run a loop today instead of out and back so she dropped my 2 1/2 miles from my house so I could run down one side of the river and back the other. She took my extra bottle and a nectarine to give me at the 1/2 way mark. My 13 year old sister in law Rebecca wanted to jump in at the 8 mile mark and run 8 home with me. I haven't tried eating food while running but I decided some juicy fruit would be the best thing. Joan used to eat PB & J on her long runs but that doesn't sound appetizing to me for running. Rebecca usually runs much faster then Joan so I was hopeful that she would be able to keep pace with me. Actually I was a little scared that she would leave me in her dust too. It was apparent right away that my stride is too big so I go faster. So I slowed down and we had a great time chatting on the route. I left her behind with 1 mile to go. It was a great run. 2 more weeks of 16 mile long runs.

Here are some random thoughts.
- I never untie my running shoes. I just slip them on and away I go.
- Most mornings I see an old woman who walks. She must be in her 80's. It always makes me think about how glad I am to be young and to have my whole life ahead of me.
- I try to run with my eyes closed past the dead deer in the ditch. It is pretty darn gross.
- I am getting really tired of water. Who knew I could get tired of water? Lemon lime Gatoraide is my new drink of choice.
- I frequently hear Shania Twain's song "Any man of mine" in my brain when I'm running (Thanks a lot mom). I am so thankful that I have THAT man.
- When I drive to town, I look at my running route and imagine how I feel when I'm running.
- I don't think it's fair that I am breaking out. I should get a pass on that since I'm 30 and I'm working out.
- I just realized that the reason I'm probably breaking out is that I wash my face too much.
- 6 weeks until my Marathon!

Miles today: 16
Miles this week: 31
Miles this Year: 205

I rocked 14 Miles! Week 8, Check!

2010-03-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

I just had the best run of my life. It will definitely be in the back of mind to draw from when days are hard.
I've had a little anticipation about this run. 14 miles is a long way and a mile longer then ANY run I have ever done in my life. I woke up this morning and the butterflies were there. I did my normal pre-run routine. A bowl of oatmeal, cup of tea, glass of water. This time Jonah dropped me off 4 1/2 miles from our house so I could run down one side of the river, through town and back home down the other side of the river. I figured out that I cannot handle 3 bottles on my running belt. The one in the middle rubs my spine, so I left it, my long shirt, etc at a friends house as I ran by. I had a lot on my mind and spent some time praying for my friend Becca who is 9 months pregnant and found out that her dad has a brain tumor and is going in for surgery tomorrow. The first 6 miles flew by and before I knew it I was crossing the River to run the last 8 home. That's when I noticed something. Someone had written in chalk on the pavement. I didn't think anything of it and I actually didn't even read it all the way because I was on top of it before I realized what it was. It wasn't until I ran toward the next message at the 6 mile mark that I realized that Jonah had driven my route and left me notes in sidewalk chalk. I burst into tears. I know that I am married to a really good man. I know that he loves me. Today was just another reminder that he is amazing. I don't know what I ever did to deserve him. I am so fortunate to have someone who is my teammate. My support. Who loves my dreams and goals and wants me to accomplish them. I am so thankful that we have made it a point in our marriage to be connected and I am so blessed to be married to you, Jonah.
I ran 14 miles in 2 hours and 5 minutes. I am so proud of myself.
Miles today: 14
Miles this week: 29
Miles this Year: 174

TMI

2010-03-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

I have been reading some blogs lately where people are so....honest. I don't even know them and I am getting to share in their inner thoughts. The funny/embarrassing/aggravating things that happen to them. I try to operate my life on the line of TMI because I think it is very freeing for other people to know that I have some inner crazy. That I sin on occasion (or frequently). That I am a whiner. That I have those really bad mom moments. That perfection is not my middle name, nor do I ask it of anyone else.
Take last week for example: Walking Adrianne to class, trying to get Stella to stop wandering down the hall, all with Charlotte on my hip. I am not paying attention at all to where I am, just trying to corral Stella, when BAM! I totally ram myself and Charlotte's head into a AED emergency box. Wow. Embarrassing. An F-bomb moment. I wish I could say that was the worst of the week, but I'm sure I can put a few more things just on my short list.
There are many things about running that I appreciate other peoples TMI. You can google just about any combination of words and get someone's post about it. So here is my running TMI just in case you ever need it:
Lots of mileage means lots of sweat. Which can also mean rashes in places you'd rather not have them (where is a place you'd like to have a rash?). I never knew what the term "jock itch" meant until a few months ago. This is the golden advice I received on the subject. Blow dry. Yes, blow drying your butt will prevent you from getting a rash. Yes it is necessary because your towel will always leave a tiny bit of moisture. Yes you can burn your butt with the blow dryer if you hold it too close (not that I know this from personal experience). There you have it. My TMI for the week.
Miles today:4

I have enough...that's all

2010-03-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

It's funny to me that I only seem to have enough in me for that days miles. If it's 4 like yesterday then that is what I can do. Today it was 7 and I knew I had enough to finish. I guess this is a good place to be....at least I'm not feeling like I don't have enough! Jonah joined me today and I was really glad for the company. He wasn't sorry about it until later when he went golfing and was really tired!
This is week 8. I am half way done with my training. Another 8 weeks to go. This weeks long run is 14 miles...The longest distance that I have ever run in my whole life. I'm excited to get to this milestone. I only have 6 more long runs until I get to taper. This training is flying by. I have 245 miles left in this training until I run my 26.2. 245 miles in 8 weeks. Crazy.
Miles Today: 7

Week 7, Check!

2010-02-26T17:57:00.000-08:00

This long run was a challenge. I decided to do it a day early since our Saturday is really full. I don't know if it was a mind thing or what, but not having the day of rest was a bummer to me. I felt tight, tired. It probably didn't help that the night before I was the speaker at our youth group so a lot of extra energy and focus was expelled there.
I pretended I was the character in a video game (super mario to be exact) and that someone else on a controller was making me go forward. I air punched the signs I passed. That helped me get through about 5 miles. I swear the last few miles were me just saying: almost home....keep going.
I am nearly half way through the training and I know some weeks will be like this, a grind.
For your viewing pleasure, I'll add this picture Jonah took of me. I wish I was one of "those" people who looked good while working out. I always get so red faced. The only reason I'm smiling is because I'm only a 1/2 mile away from home.

Miles today: 12
Miles this week: 26
Miles this month: 89
Miles this Year: 145

I get by with a little help from my friends

2010-02-24T10:21:00.000-08:00

This training has been so good for me. Since I have no official running partner, I am learning to dig deep to stay motivated and to train hard. It is a good feeling to know that you have mental toughness...guts....faith.
I mentioned a few weeks ago that sometimes I think about the mass of people who are also out there training for my race and that it helps me to imagine that we are all working together. It's been so fun lately to learn that I know some of the mass. A lady from my church, Ellen, who lives down the road and also my good friend Bethany are both training to run the 1/2 on the same day as my marathon. Yesterday on my way to town I spotted Ellen getting in her run and it just does something in my heart to have someone else to pull for. I got the privilege of running 6 miles with Bethany last night in Corvallis. It was a soggy run, but one of the most fun that I've had in awhile. I loved the change of scenery but most of all to get to run with a good friend, an old friend and create another link of things that bind us together. The miles flew by and before I knew it, we were done! Hopefully we can make our schedules mesh so we can do a few more runs together.
I've also been drawing inspiration lately from my friend Samantha who gets up at 4:30 every morning to walk. Monday when it was 27 degrees out at 8, I told myself that I had no reason to whine since she had long been out in the cold weather. It is amazing to me to see Samantha, Bethany, Ellen, Joan, Charlie and others I know, just make this work even though life is hectic and there are so many things drawing them other directions. I can keep going too.
Miles yesterday: 6
Miles this week: 10

Week 6, Check!

2010-02-20T20:16:00.000-08:00

It has been an odd week. I personally have not been afraid since my "run in" with creepy bike guy, but I am getting lots of nagging by my parents. My dad really would like me to carry a handgun...what? He and my brother are gung ho about convincing me that it's a good idea. If I need a gun, then I shouldn't be running at all. I have been working hard to be mentally strong and not talk myself into being afraid of running alone.
Today was the perfect remedy. I ran later then normal, starting at 10:15. It was sunny and beautiful and I was so glad I listened to my gut and wore shorts. I had on my new brooks (can you believe that I've put 400 miles on a pair of shoes?), they have a gold emblem on them, I'm pretending they are my Olympic shoes. Not that I think I'm going to win gold. I AM however going to win a medal. I had a song stuck in my head and so I sang it and replayed it and before I knew it 5 1/2 miles had gone by and it was time to turn around.
With about 3 miles left to go, my inner leg and my arch began to ache a bit. I acknowledged it, like the book says to and reminded myself that I am getting stronger each time I run. I was working hard to try to keep my thinking in check. Then the best possible thing happened.
I was running the last 1 1/2 miles right near the golf course. I always watch the golfers and since it was so nice out, there were quite a few on the course. A group of guys were in the middle of the fairway getting ready to drive their balls the rest of the way to the green (I am faking my golf lingo...). I watched as one stepped up to his ball, swing hard and totally wiff it. The ball went maybe 20 feet and bounced back at him. He began to curse and swing his club at the ground. I couldn't help it...I laughed. Hard. LOUD. The group turned to look at me and began laughing too (minus fit throwing guy). The golfer apparently didn't think it was very nice of me to laugh because then he shouted something at me about finding a real sport. But it was already done for me. That was the lift I needed to smile the rest of the road back to my house. A good day.
Miles today: 11
Miles this week: 23
Miles this month: 63
Miles this Year: 119

Scary bike guy...take 2

2010-02-15T13:51:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I got creeped out by a guy on a bike during my run. On my way out about 1/2 mile from my house he was walking his bike on the road. I didn't think much of it since I was going to be running for several miles and I figured he'd be gone by the time I was back. So I was really surprised to see him in the same spot 40 minutes later. He watched me approach (I got out my mace) and I passed him. At this point I was sprinting and trying to decide what to do. I was only a 1/2 mile from home, but I didn't want him to know where I was going, I don't know anyone in the houses around there, let alone if they were home. The weird part was that he never moved. I kept peeking back and he was just in the same spot. There are some turns before my driveway and so I couldn't see him when it was time for me to stop.
I think I'm pretty safe when I run out here in the country. First I always carry a cell phone and mace. I also never seem to run at the same time so if anyone was trying to establish a pattern for me, good luck. But you can never be too careful.
So today I had 4 miles to run. I hit the turn around point and didn't see anyone beside cars and golfers. But when I turned on to my street I noticed a different guy on a bike coming up behind me. At first I wasn't nervous. I have a very long length of road that is right next to the golf course and plenty of people were out playing. However, who knows why, this guy stayed about 50 feet behind me for about 1/2 mile. He chose to catch me and pass me near the golf course entrance where there is a large hill and bushes obscuring your view to the course. The last mile home is up hill and with few neighbors, I did not want to wonder what this guy was doing and if he would still be near me when I need to turn at my driveway. I really am not worried about being abducted. I just don't want any creepy people to know where I live. I decided to run to the club house and call for a ride home.
I don't like when these things happen and make me feel unsafe about running alone. The whole thing is probably totally innocent, but I am not taking my chances.
Miles today: 3 (one short)

Week 5, Check!

2010-02-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today that I did not run a single long run on my own during my 1/2 marathon training. This was #2 of my long runs that I have done alone.
I had a lot to think about since in a few weeks I am going to be the guest speaker at a youth group. A pastor once spoke in a conference that we should have a "life message"...something we can vision those who follow us about. I have never really known what my life message would boil down to until lately. We've been talking in our college group about being 30. I want them to imagine 10 years down the road, dream about who they will be and then work on the now to point themselves there. The idea being if you have a goal/dream you won't get lost in the drama of today and waste yourself and not get anywhere. This is something I feel very passionate about and I'm really beginning to see how it is seasoning everything I teach about.
The mental training this week talks about creating mental "tapes" to play to yourself when you are having a tough run. One is of your best run, what you saw, how you felt etc. The other is how you imagine it will be when you finish the marathon, how you feel, what people say to you etc. Sometimes when I'm running I lose myself for a few miles trying to imagine what it will be like. I still have a level of excitement for it which is good. I know that next month is going to be tough with the long runs getting time consuming and demanding. It's a good thing there isn't a bed at the bottom of my driveway, some days I'd be tempted to get in it.
Miles today: 10
Miles this week: 21
Miles this month: 40
Miles this Year: 96

Week 4, Check! 1/4 of the way done!

2010-02-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

Today I got to run with Joan. 4 Miles flew by just catching up with each other of the past few days events. It is amazing how much real "life" stuff...the deep stuff...that comes out when you are sharing the road with someone. By the end not only had I run my 8 miles, but we had planned strategies on dealing with teen girl drama, shared past hurts and how God had brought us through them, laughed over my girls funny stories...and more. The time is so valuable to me. It is not a waste. I already have that satisfying feeling that I am going to be so blessed by this season of my life...I already am!
Miles today: 8
Miles this week: 19
Miles this Year: 75

The decomposition cycle of deer

2010-02-03T19:04:00.000-08:00

It's a funny thing...running in the country. The one thing I get really tired of is road kill. I can tell you right now what is dead where and what it looks like. Jonah always says that dead deer in the ditch are doing the "taco" (come on, get the mental picture...you know...). Apparently my neighborhood is really bad for the car vs. deer thing. It really icks me out.
Today was a good run. I couldn't have asked for more interesting/beautiful weather. On one side of me was gray skies, rain and wind. And just ahead of me, deep blue skies and sun.
I can't believe just a year ago I was hugely pregnant and the thought of running was a big joke to me. I told people I thought my MIL was insane. And now here I am...running 19 miles this week...1/4 of the way through my training.
Miles today:5

Week 3, Check!

2010-01-30T07:42:00.000-08:00

My first Solo long run. Well not that long. Somehow running the 1/2 marathon has made anything less than 13 miles seem short. Jonah was going to run it with me, but parenting demands that he take the girls to a birthday party. I'm glad that I only have 11 more weeks until my race. I know this is going to keep making our schedules full. It really tests my resolve to constantly have to think about when I need to run, if Jonah is home, who else could watch them, how long I'll be. I feel selfish with all the time that this demands. I better be a better person after this so that my family thinks this is worth it too!
Today I imagined all the other runners out there...slipping on their running shoes...getting out on the road training for the same race. It's funny to be in this community of people that I've never met and we are all working toward the same goal.
Miles today: 7
Miles this week: 17
Miles this month: 56

All by myself....

2010-01-26T12:32:00.001-08:00

Well, the writing is on the wall. I am in this training alone. Solo. Uno. just me.
For the most part this doesn't freak me out. I know I am stubborn (just ask Jonah). I know I am tough. I know that I love the freedom that running brings me.
I just wonder a bit if I will be a total nut case at the end. I'll admit, I talk to myself...a lot. I sing, I encourage. I have odd thoughts. I have a lot of "God" moments when things occur to me. I realize that I am growing a new, different friendship with Jesus. I realize that since He is the only one that is with me most days, he is the keeper of all the inside jokes of my running world. I'm thinking of a funny thing that happened during my first run of the week yesterday. I may never tell a soul. But I can't help but smile and think that Jesus is smiling about it too. This is a very wonderful side effect that I never even imagined would come from running.
Miles: 3

Week 2 wrap up

2010-01-24T12:25:00.000-08:00

6 miles done and gone. It was the perfect day for a run. The sun was out, I was imagining it was spring. I even put on shorts. A trick I learned from my friend Charlie is to put my running clothes on first thing in the morning and that way you never talk yourself out of going. I waited until Joan could run with me. We haven't run together in a while so it was nice to spend some extra time with her and talk. I really love that I can run 6 miles and chat. I'm glad my days of huffing are over!
Miles today:6
Miles for the week: 16
Miles this month: 39

ugh.....

2010-01-19T12:07:00.000-08:00

Some days 4 miles seem like a breeze and some days 4 miles is just a ton of work. I am going to blame my cycle (TMI, I know) for why I felt like a slug today. Nothing else was against me, the weather was fine...I'm not sore...just sluggish. It is good to know that I can gut out 4 miles. 2 runs down, 2 to go.
Miles today:4
Miles this week:7

Week 1, Check!

2010-01-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

It has been quite the week. I should have run 4 days but schedules only permitted 3. We traveled to St. Louis, Missouri on Thursday so I skipped my last short run and ran 5 miles Friday on a hotel treadmill. It was more of a challenge then I anticipated. I am used to running in 40-50 degree weather and it was 65 in the fitness room. Jonah ran with me and we envisioned the route near our house... calling out the mile markers and land marks as we ran. It was an interesting change. I really appreciate getting to run outside. Much more relaxing and focused. Head back to Oregon Sunday. I'm glad to run my 2nd week at home.
Miles today: 5
Miles this week: 12
Miles this month: 23
Miles this year: 23

Welcome to Insanity

2010-01-13T22:26:00.000-08:00

I can distinctly remember driving down the road in my car and seeing something strange...a lone runner out in the worst possible weather. I know I thought to myself: that person is crazy! Do they not know that it is driving rain? Gusty wind? Nuts!
I am now that crazy person.
Wednesday was a run day for me. I have it in my mind that I am going no matter what, no excuse. I got right up and put on my running clothes. I headed out around 9am. The wind literally was blowing back on me, opposing me. The rain driving in my eyes. Every semi or truck that passed me blew up a huge wet cloud that would swirl around me. I actually laughed out loud each time a gust of wind would hit and yell out "Oh yeah? Think that's going to stop me??" (hey, I already admitted to being crazy)
It was a grueling 4 miles. I was soaked! I have to say that I loved every minute of it. I know that there are going to be many more days like this, rainy and terrible and I AM going to run.
Miles today: 4

Starting from scratch... the pep talk

2010-01-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

Here I am again. Week one. This time I have the BIG goal ahead. I am going to run a marathon. me. me?
Yes me.
It is funny how tiny doubts can be, but how they can creep on in and affect your once settled mind. I am leaning back on what I have learned already and squashing those thoughts as best as I can. I know it is just going to be something to deal with the next 16 weeks.
16 weeks. That's it. Anyone can do anything for 16 weeks. Before I know it, it will be here and over and I'll be so glad.
I already have my first run out of the way and the long run is only 5 miles. This week will be cake. During my run I decided I needed some kudos so I just let myself think a ton of wonderful things about me and what I am doing and what I have already accomplished. Not that I want to grow my ego, but maybe I am a little hard on myself sometimes.
I AM being a good mom
I AM giving myself the respect I deserve
I KICK the roads butt
I CAN run 5 miles in my sleep
I WEAR my size 2 jeans, thank you very much
I AM giving my 3 girls the best gift, a mom who can do ANYTHING

Back in the Saddle Again

2009-11-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

It's not that I haven't wanted to run since my 1/2 marathon...Life has just ran on and without the pressure of "having" to run, it has been easy to not. One day last week I did slip on my running shoes and take Jonah on a 3 1/2 mile route. But then he worked a bunch of extra days, then I got sick...you know....
So yesterday, I did it. I got up and put on my running clothes just like I did in the good ol' days (you know, 3 weeks ago). I headed out on my 4 mile loop. I am still pretty stuffed up and so I was wishing that I could do that really cool trick that only boys seem to be able to do, shooting boogers straight out of their nose. Doesn't work so well for me, although I am getting better at spitting my "clams".
For not really having run for the last 17 days, my loop felt amazing. I remember why I like running. I came home with a clear head ready for my day.

I did it!!!!!

2009-10-25T18:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the big day...race day.
We headed up to Portland on Saturday at lunch time. The packet pick up was from 10-3, so I wanted to be sure to be there early. The biggest thing for me was the overwhelming feeling of having no idea what is going on. Apparently I should have gone online and written down my bib number, so thankfully they had print outs so I could find myself. I felt anxious all day. Jonah did his best to keep me relaxed. We did a little shopping down town and then out to dinner. I was in bed by 9:30 and hoped for a good nights sleep. No such luck. I kept thinking in my mind that it was almost time to wake up but it was only 12:30...2:15....4...I tossed and turned all night trying to reassure myself that the book says it's okay if you can't sleep the night before. Just stay in bed! My eyes were so tired when I got up, I couldn't even get my contacts in for the first 45 minutes. Sunday was supposed to be a really rainy day but the weather held! We headed out of the hotel around 6:45. Jonah was going to drop me off by the start. Traffic around the square was nuts and we ended up stuck on the max line with the bus honking at us! I jumped out so Jonah could just get out of there, but in my haste, left my hydration belt on the floor. I realized it moments later but Jonah was already blocks away. It took some effort, but he did manage to get turned around and close enough for me to grab it! Tinsa and I wandered around the square. It was kind of an amazing sight. Hundreds of people milling around. The line to the bathroom was ridiculous. About 25% of the people were in costume. That was entertaining...I couldn't believe anyone would even run a 10k wearing a halloween costume! Finally the 10 minute warning, so Tinsa and I headed out of the square up to the start line. That's when I saw them. ALL the rest of the people that we were running with! It was insane! More then 2 full city blocks solid of runners! They said more then 4000 people ran the 1/2 marathon, 10k and 5k.
We were so far back that we couldn't even hear the start gun. We could just see a sea of people in the distance turning the corner. I don't even know how long it took us to cross the start. People were weaving around us and we were trying to get around the walkers. It was nuts! It got better once we hit the waterfront. My adrenaline was pumping...I felt breathless. It was so weird. I think it took me 3 miles to finally relax! The first 5 miles flew by. We ran up the waterfront and into the Pearl district. There was just so much to look at! By 6 miles we were headed up Barber Blvd and going UP hill. The course map said 4 miles of gentle incline. It wasn't too bad, but was discouraging to look ahead and all you see is hill! It didn't really matter to me, I was pumped up, channeling my dad's ADD! Tinsa was having a harder time then me. She has been fighting a leg injury and it began to start hurting. We had the last major up at the 10 mile mark, turning at the Fred Myer on to Turwilliger like we used to go to OHSU when Adrianne was a baby. I felt great at that point. I knew it was mostly down hill the last 3 miles and I knew that road well. I would have liked to turn on the gas a bit more at that point, but I knew that Tinsa needed me. We kept on pace and ran a great race. I will not forget passing the 12 mile mark and knowing that there was only 1 more mile to go. Jonah was waiting at the last corner (He had watched us at a few different places in the race). Then there it was...the finish line! I did it! 13.1 miles...check!
I don't have my official time yet, I will post it when it shows online. The lines in the square were worse at the finish then the start. We skipped even getting our free food. I felt so great afterwards that I walked with Jonah the mile back to our hotel. It was a great race and it totally made me want to do it again.

The final countdown!

2009-10-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Oh mama!
It's here. My final week of training. This is a light run week, maybe just 9 or 10 miles (last weeks total was 26). Then Sunday...oh don't think about it...

Saturday's run was fun. I ran with Joan. She picked a 12 mile course and off we went. Around mile 6 she began to struggle with low blood sugar. We slowed so she could eat some energy jelly beans and drink some orange juice and then took off again. A few miles later she was feeling bad again. We walked then jogged then walked then jogged. I know she felt bad that she didn't help me run the whole thing, but I didn't care. One thing I am learning is that the experience is worth more then any goal I can have. If I have any irrational thoughts that I am running to win anything, then I need to be snapped back into reality. The race this weekend is about me, yes, but it is also about Tinsa. I won't be satisfied if I finish with a great time but left her in the dust to struggle. More to come...

A good day for a run

2009-10-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

This has been a great week for running. Monday morning was SO cold. I wore sweats, an ear warmer and gloves for the whole 4 miles. BRRR.... Jonah drove me and Adrianne to her school and I took her in and then ran home. 4 miles feels like a lot longer when you run it straight and not out and back.
Yesterday I ran 6 miles. I felt amazing. It was cool but not cold and a little damp from the morning rain. The wind was blowing too, the last 2 miles it was at my back. I imagined that it was propelling me forward. It just felt so good to be out there. Does it sound bad to say how proud of myself I am? I just kept thinking, "I have a 6 month old baby and I can go out and run 6 miles, wow!"
Today was my last short run of the week, 4 miles. I ran in town today my new loop up 5th to the hospital, down main to 7 Eleven up to 5th and back to the car. I think I run faster in town. All the motivation of people looking at me. I have been laughing to myself and telling the cars, "you'll never catch me!' Secretly I'm really glad I'm in better shape in case a scary man jumps out at me. I know I can turn on the gas and get outta there! My brain is strange.
Saturday is my last long run. I'm going to run with Joan since Tinsa is out of town. I know I'm ready for my race. I am feeling the nerves with it being just over a week away. I've been googling race tips. One of them said while you're waiting for the race to start, get in line for the portapotty and when you're done, get in line again. I'm wondering how I'll handle my nerves. Usually I would overcome it with red licorice, but I can't imagine that 13.1 miles would feel so jolly with a ton of candy in my gut. Okay enough thinking about it, I'm making myself get nervous as I type.

Week 6 done!

2009-10-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

11 miles yesterday was more of a challenge. Maybe it was just the residual from the hectic week. Maybe it's because we changed directions and ran home from town instead of to town. At the end Tinsa told me she wouldn't have finished if I hadn't been with her. It does take a lot of mental toughness. A little grit to make yourself even when you really could stop. That kind of challenge just makes me smile and feel optimistic. I even made her run fast for the last 100 feet. I like that she needs me. It gives me even more drive that she is counting on me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not sure I could do this alone either. I can't imagine doing these long runs all alone. She also keeps me at a good pace so I don't over do it at the beginning and just having someone to talk to to help the miles pass.
One more long run this Saturday. I've run 112 miles during this training so far. 192 miles since July. I am still so surprised by myself. I didn't know I had it in me.
Miles:11
Miles this week: 24

It was the best of days. It was the WORST of days.

2009-10-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

I did not want to run at all yesterday. I AM TIRED. I AM SORE. I AM WHINEY.
I needed to run 4 miles yesterday to finish up my training week. I made the mistake of not making myself get ready for it in the morning. I should have had Rebecca come and watch Charlotte when I took the big girls to school, but I wasn't in the mood. What I wanted to do was come home and sleep during Charlotte's nap. That didn't happen since Charlotte fell asleep in the car 5 minutes from home and then wouldn't stay asleep when I moved her to her bed. All day I knew that I needed to run and all day I kept thinking...LATER. Later. later.
Finally about 3pm I realized that if I didn't run now I wouldn't run at all. So I suited up and stretched out. Grumpily down the driveway and to the road. I could not have been in a worse state of mind when I started. On top of tired, sore and whiney, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. My feet began to hurt. My calves began to hurt. I've never struggled so much. I felt like I had the angel/devil thing going on. The devil side kept saying: "Turn back, you're hurting. This can't be good for you. You are fine, you don't need this run today. How about just 3 miles or even just 2?"
Then the angel side reminded me: "Tinsa is training this week too, how can you expect her to train if you won't do your part? 4 miles is no big deal, why are you letting yourself off the hook?"
I stopped and loosened my shoe laces and it was as if I started the whole run over. My body finally engaged. My mind was changed. I was so glad when I got to the 4 mile turn around that I had made myself overcome ME.
I have to power to will myself. I can do this even when I'm not in the mood. Geez, think of what all I wouldn't do if I was waiting to be in the mood. My kids would never go to school or eat most days as a matter of fact. I probably wouldn't get out of bed. Being "in the mood" is not a prerequisite for my life. This is what makes for a good run. The fact that I can. I can overcome. I can finish. 11 miles tomorrow.
miles: 4
Miles this week (so far): 13

Come on my run

2009-10-06T19:42:00.000-07:00

2nd bridge, 5 mile turn around

1st Bridge, 3 mile turn around

My finish tape.

Well into week 6

2009-10-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

Fatigue has hit me. It's not the running. I wish it was a simple as stopping something to get some rest. It is probably all the combination of a baby, small children, night time interruptions, PMS and the running that is doing me in. I am feeling like a slave to my schedules...school, baby routine and run schedule. At least it still feels good to get out there. I am looking forward to my race and having a mental break from the schedule of having to run 4 times a week. November and December will be months I can go down to 3 times a week and however long I want. That will be a nice freedom. Hopefully by the time we hit the new year the baby routine and school routine will be more polished.
Ten miles on Saturday was awesome. I woke up concerned for myself since I had two middle of the night adventures, one with Stella and one with Charlotte. I moaned inwardly about running ten miles on 5 hours of sleep. I picked up Tinsa and we headed out. It was really cold, but it felt so awesome, especially after 5 miles. I really enjoy the time we get to run together especially now that we are both in shape and can hold a conversation with out gasping for air!
This week that miles have increased to 4, 5, 4 for the short days and 11 on Saturday. I did 5 miles in town today. I really prefer the country roads. I keep tripping on the uneven sidewalks. I haven't laid myself out yet, but that may happen in the future! I need to read my chapter for the week and find out what I am supposed to be focused on. More to come...

Week 5 coming to a close

2009-10-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

This week has sailed by leaving only the long run of 10 miles tomorrow. It blows my mind that I am not nervous about 10 miles. It feels totally doable.
I have been trying out energy packs on my longer runs. The running store steered me to GU Chomps, which are like a big fruit snack.

The nice thing about them over a energy gel is that you are not forced to eat a whole package. On my 8 mile day, I ate one at miles 4,5, & 6. I didn't want my stomach to be full all at once of a "jelly" snack and it seemed to really agree with me. Then I just folded the package and put the rest in my belt for next time.
I also picked up a hydration belt, an amphipod belt. The bottles click in and can be worn vertical or horizontal. I opted to get the one with 2 larger bottles and a pouch. The pouch is great, holds my mace, phone, keys etc... oh my Chomps too! I thought I would wear it low on my hips, but in order to make it stay put, I had to make it really tight which wasn't comfortable for me. I actually wear it slightly above my natural waist so that my ribs help keep it in place without squeezing my stomach. Not very fashion forward, but oh well!

I really like having water with me and having my hands free.
This is the last week of 3 miles being the short runs and I am so glad. 3 miles doesn't seem long enough and I hardly feel like I'm in my grove before it's over. Sick, isn't it? Who knew I would come to feel this way about running. I have totally been converted and transformed! Two more weeks of training, a week of tapering and then it's here. I am getting a few butterflies in my stomach since I turned the calendar page and can see the date marked out. I keep trying to put it out of my mind so that I don't start getting anxious about it.

Technology Sucks

2009-09-27T18:08:00.000-07:00

No I did not fall off the running wagon! Our computer is in the shop and this is my first opportunity to post this week. Hopefully we will get our computer back this next week. :(
Week four was great. I ran 19 miles this week, including a long run of 8 miles yesterday. Joan was my running buddy and it was really great to spend time with her. I think I am one of the fortunate few who have a great friendship with their mother in law. I am so blessed, she is a great encourager. When we got 6+ miles in, she reminded me that she is 20 years older than me. I ran the last mile without her. I still had a lot of "gas" so we decided to meet at the end and I ran hard. I still am in shock that I can do this. I really do have it in me! My race is in one month and I know that I can do it!
The other day Adrianne followed me out the door as I headed out to run and she called out to me:
"Be a good runner, Mommy!"
I am excited to see that my girls can get this, even a little bit. This week talks about changing your "what if" with the action of "as if" until it becomes your "it is" reality. It is funny what a big role your mind plays in training, but this is so true of many things in life. We used to say "fake it, 'til you make it". Action really does precede belief sometimes. Well, I am living this one out.
Miles this week: 19

Week 3 Over, best run to date!

2009-09-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

Seventeen Miles this week! Wow!
I got up this morning reluctantly. I probably would have stayed in bed if all 3 girls hadn't decided that 6:45 sounded like a good time to be up. It is long run day and Tinsa and I agreed that I would pick her up and bring her to my house and then we would run to her house. It was misty at my house but by the time I drove to her house it was raining. This is my first experience with running in actual rain. I have to say this was an awesome run day. We both were healthy and cheerful. I am learning to appreciate being cool. The rain felt great! I dressed just right, shorts, tank and very light running coat. We chatted the whole way which always makes the miles fly by. Before I knew it we were rounding the corner near her house. My muscles felt worked, knees a little sore, but all in all I feel really good.
I do love technology. Google has been a real help with all the funny running things that come up. I have been looking over blogs reading about hydration belts, rashes and upset stomachs. I'm going to start trying energy gels next week on the long run and hopefully I'll get my hydration belt soon so I can start training with that.
The book this week starts in on maintaining a low level of "arousal" about running. This may be my biggest challenge, not getting worked up about it. The idea is that too much arousal means too much adrenaline which is not your friend when you are a distance runner. The first bits have been about positive attitude. I know focus and relaxation are coming. I'm going to need it!
I can't believe that next week starts week 4. Halfway to race day.

3 miles to start week 3

2009-09-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

It wasn't until after dinner that I finally made it out for my first run of week 3. 3 miles no problem.
I was thinking when I was running how unfortunate it is that I can't do anything else while I am running. Multitasking is my middle name. I can fold laundry, feed the baby, manage the girls, talk on the phone and make dinner all at the same time.
Then it occurred to me: the best part about running is the fact that I can't do anything else at the same time. There is very few moments in my life right now that I get to have a single focus. It was a Holy Spirit moment for me...all the implications of doing so many things gets me wondering if I am doing the important things well? What if I could have more of a single focus about certain things I do. How would that change me as a mom? A wife?
I wish my days could be like my runs. I always have a feeling in me of excitement for my run. The first mile I get my grove on. I listen to the quiet. I look at the scenery. I notice all the things around me, the sun, the wind...all the little things that I enjoy. I have a set goal and I get a feeling of power and accomplishment as I work to meet it. I call on my body and it works to do what I ask. The last mile I always feel a sense of gratefulness to God for what he is working in me. I round the last corner and spy my marker tape. I focus on my goal, end strong, arms raised each time in victory.
There's lessons for me here. Yes Lord, I am listening.

Week 2, Check!

2009-09-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

Today my long run was 6 miles. It has been a good week of running. A hectic week otherwise. I am realizing how much I really have come to enjoy this outlet. It may be the only thing keeping me sane. Tinsa came to run with me today although she had been sick all week and missed a few runs. We ran to the crazy blue mobile home 3 miles from my house and on the way back she began to feel weak. She made it more then 4 miles before she said she needed to walk. I jogged and skipped and tried to keep pace with her for a mile before she said to go ahead and she would just keep walking. I know the feeling of running out of gas after being sick, so I said I would run back to the house and get my car and pick her up. And run I did. I ran well faster than my normal pace and it felt great. I realized that I am becoming used to the mileage and so to push myself gave me that great feeling of my body hearing my demand and responding to it. Tinsa was able to start jogging again and did finish, which is just what the book says is the most important. I think overall the run was good for both of us.
Miles today: 6
Miles for the week: 16

Into two

2009-09-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

Week two is under way. I ran 3 miles on Monday. It feels boring, almost like it's a waste of time it's so short. Who knew 3 miles would feel so short? Yesterday evening I did my 4 miles with Joan and having her really helped me get through it. I need to learn some concentration for the short runs. I think I don't make myself focus enough and that's why I'm having a hard time with them. Probably doesn't help that I'm on my period (TMI, I know!) and this week is school kick off for both the older ones. I learned last week that your brain actually shrinks by 8% during pregnancy and the volume doesn't return until 6 months postpartum. Great, just when the race is over my brain will be returning to me!
Tomorrow will be my test run in town. It's only 3 miles but I have to run and be back in time to pick up Stella from school. We'll see how it works out! 6 more weeks of keeping this crazy pace!

Week One, Check!

2009-09-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

It's over and I made it. Week one has officially come to a close. My 5 mile run today felt good. Tinsa and I met up, she over dressed since it was raining, but ended up wishing she was in shorts like me. I always second guess myself too, what if I'm too hot, what if I'm too cold? I can't wait until I am a little more skilled at this.
We are alternating who is in charge of the long runs. Tinsa went first and guided me on a 5 mile run near her house. It was along the river, very pretty. I know why she likes to run there, no hills! I am realizing how much I am going to enjoy running this fall. The drizzle was great, cloudy skies, the trees starting to turn. I am also looking forward to getting a handle on my schedule. I already figured out that I under budgeted time to run while both girls are in school. I had to cut one short run short because I had to pick up Stella. Rebecca will be glad since that just means I'll need her more!
I have to add that I haven't been the most enthusiastic runner this week, but peace and quiet have drawn me. That is a plus of having 3 kids...I'll always have that need.
Miles today: 5
Total for the week: 14+

It Begins

2009-09-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

First official week of Training! The runs so far have been 3 miles, 4 miles, 3 miles and then 5 miles on Saturday. I am sore today, but I think it was the painting for 3 hours yesterday after the 4 mile run that did me in. It's nice to feel sore. Well at least this kind of sore...I don't have the "can't get out of bed sore". My muscles just feel worked out and strong. I am already looking ahead to the next weeks when the miles increase. I'm excited about the challenge. It will be interesting, juggling running, school for both little girls and a baby. I wish Stella's preschool was longer or at least ended the same time as Adrianne's kindergarten. I will be doing a lot of driving until I can find a carpool buddy. I am going to be a schedule queen~ not that I wasn't already!
I counted in July I ran 35 miles. August's total was 44 miles. I am scheduled to run 88 miles this month! 7 weeks until my race!

Mommy, aren't you running today?

2009-08-24T11:38:00.001-07:00

The alarm had gone off and the snooze button pushed. It wasn't the worst night sleep ever, but I was up for an hour with Charlotte at 4:30. Then my early waker arrived. I told Adrianne that I was tired and she replied "Isn't Rebecca coming?"
Ah Rebecca...my faithful babysitter who is making a fortune off me with all this running. She informed me the other day she is saving for a laptop. What a 12 year old needs a laptop for, who knows!
I did manage to peal myself out of bed and get some breakfast. This is my last week before official training begins. I had a goal for myself today of 5 miles. My normal run takes me to the end of my country road and barely turns me on to the next to make a 4 mile loop. I always look further down the road when I'm doing my turn around, knowing that soon I will be going down that way. Four miles have been getting easier, but still enough work that I've been wondering how I'll do when I have to increase my mileage.
Today was the perfect running day. It was cold out, 50 degrees when I left my house. I just felt good when I hit the road. Secretly I had been hoping that Joan would run with me today and that she could push me, but I run too early for her. The further I ran the more I wanted to go 5 miles. I air punched all the street signs I passed and each one made me feel more positive and more in control. By the time I hit the 2nd bridge, 2 1/2 miles from my house, I was pumped! The guide talks about memorizing your best run days, the sights, sounds, how you felt, so you have some mental imagery for the days that your runs feel like a grind. The memory of my run today will get me out of my bed and on the road for weeks to come. I can do it!
Miles today: 5

I am a marathoner

2009-08-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

Running alone 2 of 3 days this week gives me plenty of time in my own thoughts. One of the first things the guide tells you to do is to start identifying yourself as a marathoner...to yourself and especially to others. This sounds so odd to me since the most I've run so far is 4 miles at one time. I know the point is to start to get your mental self thinking a new thing. But inevitably, I feel a little ridiculous stating it when I haven't run one yet. I guess that's why I need to blog and also sent out my email cry for help to my friends. It is going to be a habit to get into thinking of myself as a runner.
I have been thinking about how this is true for my spiritual life too. Way back in the day as a new Christian...Telling people that I was one but still figuring out how it would be possible to live like one. I remember writing millions of poems in those days expressing my fear of falling away. Now that I've been at it for 14 years, it is easy to identify myself as a Christian. I am still growing, there is still new things that Jesus speaks to me that I am and sometimes it takes some mental effort to believe them about myself.
One week left before official training starts. There is a little butterfly in my stomach that wonders if this is really possible (or have I really lost my marbles). Thankfully I have enough will/guts/trust to say something about myself that I am not yet, but God willing, will soon be.
Miles Today:4
Miles for the Week: 12

Running Away

2009-08-17T10:57:00.001-07:00

I really do enjoy the days Tinsa, Joan or Charlie run with me. However I am beginning to really really enjoy the days I run alone.
This morning Jonah was at work, so my mom came to let me get my run in. I really like the early morning, I know shocking to come out of my mouth, I'm such a non morning person. I love to get up, slide in my running clothes, put on my trusty brooks. Mace in one pocket (for scary truckers and wild dogs!) phone in the other.
The guide talks about not using iPods or mp3 players. I wouldn't anyway because I'm running on open road and not side walks. It talks about instead listening to your body's rhythm, nature and your own thoughts. I crack myself up because almost every time I turn from my driveway to the pavement, I hear the opening rhythm of Queen's "We will rock you" or some old school Keith Green song. I think it actually helps me set my pace.
I almost always think about that movie "What women want". The part where they are making the ad campaign for Nike for the woman runner. It is true, the road does not judge me or my pace. Does not care about the way I look. I am so thankful for running. Days like today it may be the only time I spend alone until the girls go to bed tonight. When I got home from my run there was some "girl drama" with Adrianne (oh to be 5) and I jokingly told my mom that I was going to go on another run and would be back later. I get a huge sense of peace when I'm gone. Maybe it's the silence. Maybe the alone time. Whatever it is, I love the feeling that no one is making any demands of me, just me making them of my own self.
Miles today: 4

To date...

2009-08-14T21:20:00.001-07:00

I have been running consistently for 2 months now. It feels so good to pound out 4 miles no problem. My plan is to run 3 times a week (which is what I've already been running) for the next 2 weeks. I am up to running around 4 miles each day. Beginning the first week of September I will begin my 1/2 marathon training.
Why a 1/2 and not a full. Simple: Marathon training requires 16 weeks, plus several work up weeks to be able to run 30 minutes without stopping and there wasn't any marathons in my area that were 16 weeks or longer away from when I began running. My first full marathon option is the Eugene Marathon in May 2010. I plan to run in Portland's "Run Like Hell" 1/2 marathon on Oct 25, 2009. Then I will have 2 months of "downtime" before beginning marathon training in January.
I have a running partner, Tinsa, who is training with me. I am totally excited to have her...accountability, someone to understand what I'm doing, just the company sometimes. We are trying to run at least once each week together. She joined me on my run today. Made the miles fly by.
It feels good to have a personal goal in front of me. Having had 3 kids in the last five years has shifted my focus. There are very few things I do for myself anymore. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. I do however, think that this is a very healthy goal. I am turning 30 this fall and I think it will be a fun way to mark this birthday. Changing it from having a somewhat negative tone, to something I am proud to say I've done.

How it all began...

2009-08-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

I remember the day vividly. This past May 2009, my husband and our 3 kids, ages 5, 3 and 5 weeks had driven to Newport, OR and were waiting to see her. My mother-in-law, Joan, would be rounding the corner at any time now. She was running in her very first marathon. Each runner that past us to go to the finish line only built my anticipation. And there she was, jogging the last stretch of her 26.2 mile journey. We screamed and cheered and held our signs. I choked back my own tears of pride for her. Here was this woman in her 50's who had never run prior to the previous year and she did it. She ran a marathon! When she came over to us, she said to me "I made it! I can do ANYTHING!"
I thought to myself, "wow. I want that feeling."
That's when it happened. Not once during her weeks of training did I ever want to do what she was doing nor did I think I could. But there it was, the tiny spark in my own heart that said "I think I want to do it too."
Doubt quickly followed. I had just had a baby in April and was still recovering from c-section and the fatigue that comes with a new born. I had gained a liberal amount of baby weight (more then 50 pounds) and had not exercised regularly since high school soccer 11 years ago. How could I run any distance when walking up and down the stairs at my house made me breathless?
I remembered then how Joan had started. Last summer Joan was like me. Maybe a few pounds overweight and not a runner. A friend encouraged her to start with an easy goal. Joan went out in the following days and ran 1/2 mile. 11 months later she completed her marathon.
My determination begin to build. I started walking down my driveway to get the mail, .6 miles. It took more then 2 weeks before I could do it without huffing and puffing. When I would get to my mailbox, I would look up the road and wonder if I really would be able to run. I let myself be realistic and slow, never forgetting that I had a new baby, not expecting myself to be able to do grand distances too soon.
I was excited the first time I put my feet on the pavement. I jogged to the nearest street sign (less then .1 miles) and jogged back to my driveway. This was my beginning.